One hot sauce bottle, Mango & jalapeño, in a blue spotlight on a comedy club’s stage, its label a brushed face with big white eyes, level brows and a flat mouth, held dead straight

Straight Face

A face that can’t keep straight.

Try to keep a straight face.

I made Straight Face in 2026 to show what I do — five hot sauces, mildest to hottest. It’s on no shelf, and nobody’s client. The name is the game. Every label is the same face, and every face is trying.

Mango & jalapeño, its face held straight
Mango & jalapeño
Lime & serrano, its face held straight
Lime & serrano
Smoked habanero, its face held straight
Smoked habanero
Garlic & ghost pepper, its face held straight
Garlic & ghost pepper
Strawberry & Carolina Reaper, its face held straight
Strawberry & Carolina Reaper
The five, before they taste.
held straight
The name alone, cut from the label: STRAIGHT above FACE, nothing between them

Not even the name smiles.

STRAIGHT above the eyes, FACE under the mouth, each letter brushed dead upright and dead level.

It tastes first.

Then it cracks. A little further each time.

1 of 5

Mango & jalapeño

Its pepper: 4,000⁠–⁠8,500 Scoville units.

The blue spotlight on the brick wall behind Mango & jalapeño
Mango & jalapeño on its little stage, its face held straight
held straight
The label of Mango & jalapeño up close, smiling slowlya slow smile
The face of Mango & jalapeño up close, blushinga warm blush
2 of 5

Lime & serrano

Its pepper: 10,000⁠–⁠25,000 Scoville units.

The blue spotlight on the brick wall behind Lime & serrano
Lime & serrano on its little stage, its face held straight
held straight
The label of Lime & serrano up close, puckering harda hard pucker
The face of Lime & serrano up close, one eye twitchingone eye twitching
3 of 5

Smoked habanero

Its pepper: 100,000⁠–⁠350,000 Scoville units.

The blue spotlight on the brick wall behind Smoked habanero
Smoked habanero on its little stage, its face held straight
held straight
The label of Smoked habanero up close, blowing a puff of smokea cool puff of smoke
The face of Smoked habanero up close, sweating, its brows climbingsweat, brows climbing
4 of 5

Garlic & ghost pepper

Its pepper: about 1,000,000 Scoville units.

The blue spotlight on the brick wall behind Garlic & ghost pepper
Garlic & ghost pepper on its little stage, its face held straight
held straight
The label of Garlic & ghost pepper up close, chewing, one cheek fulla big chew
The face of Garlic & ghost pepper up close, in tears, wailingtears and a wail

The last one goes all the way.

5 of 5

Strawberry & Carolina Reaper

Its pepper: about 1,600,000 Scoville units.

The label of Strawberry & Carolina Reaper up close, smiling sweetlythe same sweet smile
The sweet smile, held a beatheld a beat too long
Its face up close, the smile gone, its eyes wideits eyes wide
Its label starting to tear at the topa nick at the top
The tear running down its labelthe tear running down
Its label torn throughtorn through
The blue spotlight on the brick wall behind Strawberry & Carolina Reaper
Strawberry & Carolina Reaper on its stage: the sweet smile, then it laughs its label apart
laughing

Seen while making: Is a hot sauce as hot as the pepper in it?

After.

The top of Mango & jalapeño, after
The top of Lime & serrano, after
The top of Smoked habanero, after
The top of Garlic & ghost pepper, after
The top of Strawberry & Carolina Reaper, after

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